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If Music Could Kill

173
Wed, 29 Nov 2006 at 05:57pm

untitled

What's up with music?

Seriously, who the hell does it think it is? I get up in the morning, eat breakfast, make some coffee, walk out to my car, start the engine and THERE IT IS! Right there in my fucking car! Did I ASK for it!? Did I personally request that music be played on my morning drive?

But I'm not normally a difficult person, so I bear with it. I could turn it off, yeah, but then it would win, right? I don't want some inanimate, intangible concept getting the best of me. No, I'm gonna come out of this thing on top.

So as I drive, I start to actually listen to the stuff, and get this. It's GOOD! I'm actually enjoying this crap! And I'm sittin' there, thinkin' to myself "My God, what's it's deal!?" I turn it up, thinking that maybe if I make it more obnoxious I won't enjoy it as much, but you know what fucking happened? I started nodding my head. TO THE RHYTHM! I shit you not, I was even tapping my toes! I don't even know what happened!

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of torture and humiliation, feeling mocked by every pluck of the bass and up-beat high hat, the song finally came to an end. At last, it was over. But before I could even wipe the sweat off my brow and pay attention to the road again, you know what music fucking did?

It fucking started again! Whole new song, too! I was only thankful it didn't have such a catchy beat like the last one. It actually started out pretty quiet, I could practically tune it out. But my mind being as easily stimulated as it is, I started listening to it more closely. That shit was BEAUTIFUL! Goddamn, I could have sworn there were angels in my speakers putting Shakespeare's greatest works to song! With every passing note, every crescendo, every rise and fall of the cascading strings, as the lyrics reached deeper and deeper into the depths, the heart of human emotion, tears threatened to well behind my eyes. How could I ignore such brilliant artwork. How could anyone brush off this masterpiece as mere calculated noise?

I don't even know how I made it to work without getting into a wreck or succumbing to hysterics [or more likely both], but I finally did. With a stern twist of the key I switched the engine, then battery off. I took a moment to savor the immediate silence, then breathed a long sigh of relief. And by God, I prayed I would never have to go through that shit ever again.

Fuck, if music could kill...

Eighteen others like this.
2006-11-29
The commendations this piece recieved in IF1 were: 2 minus votes, 12 plus votes, and 1 astars.
neoeno
2006-12-02
Fucking music. +1
purplehaze
2006-12-03
Funny, but not great.
lol...nice. i like the ending
themilkman
2007-03-17
Ha, really funny! I like it!
kluny
2007-04-06
Funny
themilkman
2007-05-27
What lameos downvoted this?
hahah, this is great
bowers
2007-06-04
I really like this very funny +1
social_r3jekt
2007-06-30
Hah that was fantastic, I could read it over and over again.
2007-08-18
Good, but seriously, who did downvote this. It's entertaining.

I like it. I wouldn't call it your greatest work, but it's a fun little investigation into a unique premise. You're doing better than most aspiring writers if you take random ideas like that and develop them. What's more, brain-exercises like this are great resources when you're working on a bigger project and need spare scraps of character-fabric. (I hope that made sense.)

+1

2008-04-22

It's okay, but it ignores music as an extension of human expression -- it would have made more sense if the person had a beef with other people; but the impression we get is that the speaker lives a normal life. The premise is more unreal than surreal

mztalented
2008-05-29
it would be okay just that you cussed the music off alot...cussing is not good for you!
setti
2011-03-30
Dude. Where do you get your ideas???????